Deep inside my life.

I think I'm sinking.

I barely could move the day before we went to clinic. I lied on the bed and watched the sky, it was familiar, I couldn't move. My body was heavy, not like the kind of hard-working tired, but extremely heavy. I forced myself waking up and reserved haircut so that I would have motivation to move. Then I wandered whole day. 

And yes I burst out tears because of your words. Refusal isn't a big thing but it brings me a strong feeling like hands off. I won't react like that in usual. That was unusual. 

I'm afraid those shines and crazy  headache are part of signs. Dragged me away from positive and motivated, made me sinking. One day I won't be able to move or do anything with my body.